think about it alot actualy. but i just keep stopping myself. putting it off, or talking myself out of it. im no good at it, i tell myself. the kids are too noisy, i cant concentrate. my brain doesnt work anymore, thats another excuse.
but thats all they are really, excuses. what happend to that drive to write that i used to have? it didnt matter if i was good or not (more than likley not) i just wrote to get it the hell outta me. what happened to my passion? my creativity, my inspriation?
it all died somewhere along the way.. and im not sure how to revive it. perhaps ive just had too pleasant of a life last few years. i was always so much more creative when i was miserable. or maybe its because i quit smoking pot. that always got me in the mood to create something.
whatever the reason, i need to try to ignore it and move forward. shit i spent money on novel writing classes to try to improve my craft, and then i just let my brain stagnate and do nothing.
whats wrong with me? maybe i just need a kick in the ass, someone to keep me going. or maybe im just too 'domesticated' to even care anymore.
i used to be a wild, spontaneous, free spirit. now im... a mom. tethered to my life with an invisible ball and chain. never goin out to seek adventure.
well i need some adventure, dammit. and if i have to create it myself than that is what i have to do. time to shake the cobwebs outta my head and get writing again. even if its crap (which it WILL be) i need to get get it out.
ive had a novel in my head since i was 15. wrote most of it once, and lost it all when my laptop went DERP. 200+ pages gone. havent been able to rewrite it since. but its still in my head, all those characters, i cant let them go.
they need to come out