Monday, May 30, 2011

just want to say

thank you to everyone for your support and well wishes during this time. it has helped and i am very grateful. im trying to put it behind me now and look forward. my new kittens helps alot. who can be sad when you have a cute roly poly kitten to play with?

ive dealt with my issues with my dad long ago. as i mentioned i had a rough childhood. me brother and i were neglected, beaten, mostly by our first stepmother, but there was always the whippings with the belt when dad came home. thats how i grew up. when i was 12 he sent me away to 'crazy camp'. basicaly, a  mental home for adolescents because i was depressed and suicidal. after 8 months in that place, he and my stepmother sorta dissapeared.. apparently they didnt want me anymore, so i went to live with my mother. i was so angry and resentful toward my father for many years after that. we never spoke again. i did not invite him to my wedding, but i made sure he knew about it.

when my first child was born tho, he suddenly reappeared. his only grandchild changed him somehow i guess. we reconciled and the past was forgotten. but in truth, the past was merely buried. it would be many more years before i finaly came to terms with the anger i harbored inside. and it will ALWAYS be there, but at least ive learned how to deal with it.

my dad and i had a pretty good relationship these last few years. probably better than we ever had when i was a kid. im alot like him, and i guess he could see that in me. we got along as adults because we share alot of the same interests and personality traits. and even tho my childhood was pretty horrible, i did always love my dad. and we had lots of good times, fun holidays, and good memories. and i will never forget him as long as i live

Friday, May 27, 2011

not much of my family left now

i got a phone call yesterday from my stepmother. my father passed away. last time i talked to him, he said his cancer was n remission, was pretty much completely gone. and then i hear this news.. its somewhat shocking to say the least..
obviously i was very upset, but now im just kinda numb i guess. so many deaths in my family recently.. first my little brother, then my great uncle (who was old as fuck so it wasnt a shock) my aunt Marie died of pneumonia just about a month ago and now my dad. my dad and my little brother were more or less all i had growing up. now i have nothing. well i hate my bile spitting cobra of a mother..who was OH so sympathetic.. then ;ast night we had a minor tornado (which i am freekin terrified of) and it knocked out the internet and tore down half of the tree out back.. completely destroying our back deck AND the porch swing my dad gave me..

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

a sence of truimph... but also sadness

whenever i finish a good book i am always conflicted. on one hand i feel the joy and excitement of the great story brought to its climax. on the other hand, there is the depressing thought that once i turn those last few pages... its over. my journey with these characters is done, and i feel a sense of loss.

i love a good book, but its so depressing when its over lol

Saturday, May 21, 2011

new kitteh

No Title

a neighbor was giving away kittens. not just any kittens. poly-dactyl kittens! i couldnt resist. here is our yet-to-be-named little feller

Friday, May 20, 2011

mah new pet

his name is Spike. isnt he cute??

Monday, May 16, 2011

was i wrong?

i do try to be unbiased in my desicion making.. try to see things from both points of view before i react.. but perhaps sometimes i let emotion get in the way a little.

last night a guildy, lets call him bob. bob is usualy a pretty arrogant and bossy individual. well last night he seems to be in a foul mood. another guildie says something stupid in chat like 'i love boobies'. of course the female members werent entirely thrilled (myself included) and one female member in particular,, lets call her jan, saied somthing to the effect of 'im not gay so no i dont love boobies'.

so bob, who wasnt even really a part of the boobies conversation, pops in with 'well get a mastectomy then' 0_0
her husband immediately says 'um.. no'
but jan and i were particular annoyed by this statement. i said, 'just because we arent obsessed with our own bodyparts doesnt mean we should hack them off.' at this point my bf chanced the subject before it got ugly.

so later on, not 15 minutes maybe, bob come in again complaining about someone in his party who sitting down during the instance. at first we laughed and made light of it, but he just keeps going on and on. and a few of us were like 'hey sometimes we sit and replenish mana too'
well then he goes off about how ppl are inconsiderate and should think of their squad and bla bla.
im really getting irritated now, but trying to find a way to calm the conversation. well jan tells him to stfu and puts him on ignore.
then he continues ranting and i said 'calm your tone'
so he PMs me!  'she can tell me to shut the fuck up but i cant defend myself and bla bla' now perhaps it was because i was already pissed off about his earlier comments, but maybe i WAS a little biased. im not sure. but i told him the calm you tone remark was for everybody. he shuts up, but about an hour later he mumbles some lame excuse about his friend from his old guild being back and he leaves guild.  im sure there were cheers all around.

but perhaps i could have handled it better. did i let my anger cloud my judgment in this? should i have been more curt with jan too? im not really looking to get this fellow back (arrogant dipshit) but i do want to handle these sort of situation better in the future. i cant let my personal feelings get in the way of my judgements.. not as a leader.  just not sure i handled this one properly

Sunday, May 15, 2011

just testing

been getting reports of external links to Simpletons not working properly. test

Friday, May 13, 2011

ok that wierd

i seem to have lost a post somehow. dunno if it was due to the blogger weirdness going on or if it was somehow deleted.. well whatever. hopefully no more posts dissapear

Thursday, May 12, 2011

i dont think you understand who your dealing with

just in case you didnt get my little message on Simpletons.

Listen here, you little fucktard. You are not welcome here, so take your childish bullcrap elsewhere. Did you think i was somehow shocked and horrified by pictures of nude women? Ive seen a thousand pictures like that, and worse. Did you think telling my users to jump naked off a cliff would strike fear into our hearts? It only demonstrates how PATHETIC you are. Stay off my forum, dipshit. This is not EA. i can AND WILL ban your ass. And let me remind you once again how FAIL you are. You dont scare me, you dont threaten me. Your tiresome. All you did was give me work to do. Why dont you go find some dolls to play with, like a good little dickless boy, and leave the adults to talk in peace.

 getting the picture yet, jackass? Im not a big souless corporation. i actualy MODERATE my websites.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

this is fkin awesome

US holds photos of slain bin Laden, weighs release

Bin Laden neighbours piece together mystery lives AFP – Pakistani boys collect debris at the site of the crashed helicopter outside the hideout of Al-Qaeda leader …

WASHINGTON – U.S. officials weighed the pros and cons of releasing secret video and photos of Osama bin Laden, killed with a precision shot above his left eye, as fresh details emerged Tuesday of an audacious American raid that netted potentially crucial al-Qaida records as well as the body of the global terrorist leader.
President Barack Obama is going to ground zero in New York to mark the milestone and remember the dead of 9/11.
White House counterterrorism adviser John Brennan said the U.S. already was scouring items seized in the raid — said to include hard drives, DVD's, documents and more that might tip U.S. intelligence to al-Qaida's operational details and perhaps lead the manhunt to the presumed next-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahri.
As for publicly releasing photos and video, Brennan said in a series of appearances on morning television: "This needs to be done thoughtfully," with careful consideration given to what kind of reaction the images might provoke.
At issue were photos of bin Laden's corpse and video of his swift burial at sea. Officials were reluctant to inflame Islamic sentiment by showing graphic images of the body. But they were also eager to address the mythology already building in Pakistan and beyond that bin Laden was somehow still alive.
Patience and persistence — characteristics normally attributed to al-Qaida — proved decisive in America's decade-long hunt for bin Laden, whose fate was sealed in 40 minutes of thunderous violence, years in the making.
Obama, who approved the extraordinarily risky operation by Navy SEALs against bin Laden's Pakistan compound and witnessed its progression from the White House Situation Room, his face heavy with tension, reaped accolades from world leaders he'd kept in the dark as well as from political opponents at home.
Republican and Democratic leaders alike gave him a standing ovation at an evening White House meeting that was planned before the assault but became a celebration of it, and an occasion to step away from the fractious political climate.
"Last night's news unified our country," much as the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, did, Republican House Speaker John Boehner said earlier in the day. Obama later appealed for that unity to take root as the U.S. presses the fight against a terrorist network that is still lethal — and now vowing vengeance.
The episode was an embarrassment, at best, for Pakistani authorities as bin Laden's presence was revealed in their midst. The stealth U.S. operation played out in a city with a strong Pakistani military presence and without notice from Washington. Questions persisted in the administration and grew in Congress about whether some elements of Pakistan's security apparatus might have been in collusion with al-Qaida in letting bin Laden hide in Abbottabad.
Brennan asked the question that was reverberating around the world: "How did Osama bin Laden stay at that compound for six years or so and be undetected?"
"We have many, many questions about this," he said. "And I know Pakistani officials do as well." Brennan said Pakistani officials were trying to determine "whether there were individuals within the Pakistani government or military intelligence services who were knowledgeable." He questioned in particular why bin Laden's compound hadn't come to the attention of local authorities.
In an essay published Tuesday by The Washington Post, Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari denied suggestions his country's security forces may have sheltered bin Laden, and said their cooperation with the United States helped pinpoint his whereabouts.
As Americans rejoiced, they worried, too, that terrorists would be newly motivated to lash out. In their wounded rage, al-Qaida ideologues fed that concern. "By God, we will avenge the killing of the Sheik of Islam," one prominent al-Qaida commentator vowed. "Those who wish that jihad has ended or weakened, I tell them: Let us wait a little bit."
In that vein, U.S. officials warned that bin Laden's death was likely to encourage attacks from "homegrown violent extremists" even if al-Qaida is not prepared to respond in a coordinated fashion now.
U.S. officials say the photographic evidence shows bin Laden was shot above his left eye, blowing away part of his skull.
He was also shot in the chest, they said. This, near the end of a frenzied firefight in a high-walled Pakistani compound where helicopter-borne U.S. forces found 23 children, nine women, a bin Laden courier who had unwittingly led the U.S. to its target, a son of bin Laden who was also slain, and more.
Bin Laden had lived at the fortified compound for six years, officials said, putting him far from the lawless and harsh Pakistani frontier where he had been assumed to be hiding out.
The only information about what occurred inside the compound has come from American officials, much of it provided under condition of anonymity.
They said SEALs dropped down ropes from helicopters, killed bin Laden aides and made their way to the main building. Obama and his national security team monitored the strike, watching and listening nervously and in near silence from the Situation Room as it all unfolded.
"The minutes passed like days," Brennan said.
U.S. officials said the information that ultimately led to bin Laden's capture originally came from detainees held in secret CIA prison sites in Eastern Europe. There, agency interrogators were told of an alias used by a courier whom bin Laden particularly trusted.
It took four long years to learn the man's real name, then years more before investigators got a big break in the case, these officials said. Sometime in mid-2010, the man was overheard using a phone by intelligence officials, who then were able to locate his residence — the specially constructed $1 million compound with walls as high as 18 feet topped with barbed wire.
U.S. counterterrorism officials considered bombing the place, an option that was discarded by the White House as too risky, particularly if it turned out bin Laden was not there.
Instead, Obama signed an order on Friday for the team of SEALs to chopper onto the compound under the cover of darkness.
In addition to bin Laden, one of his sons, Khalid, was killed in the raid, Brennan said. Bin Laden's wife was shot in the calf but survived, a U.S. official said. Also killed were the courier, another al-Qaida facilitator and an unidentified woman, officials said.
Some people found at the compound were left behind when the SEALs withdrew and were turned over to Pakistani authorities who quickly took over control of the site, officials said. They identified the trusted courier as Kuwaiti-born Sheikh Abu Ahmed, who had been known under the name Abu Ahmed al-Kuwaiti.
Within 40 minutes, the operation was over, and the SEALs flew out — minus one helicopter, which had malfunctioned and had to be destroyed. Bin Laden's remains were flown to the USS Carl Vinson, then lowered into the North Arabian Sea.
Bin Laden's death came 15 years after he declared war on the United States. Al-Qaida was also blamed for the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa that killed 224 people and the 2000 attack on the USS Cole that killed 17 American sailors in Yemen, as well as countless other plots, some successful and some foiled.

i dont know about you, but how much like a fkn action movie was that?? we really did that shit! im an impressed. way to go navy seals.