Monday, September 13, 2010

Your Weekly Horror-Scope


Why not take that impromptu trip you've been eager to go on, Aries? Adventure calls, and there's nothing to stop you from answering. And it might be a good idea to keep a good distance, because that guy you cut off on the highway? well, Hes looking for you. Best to be out of town, before things get ugly.





Change is in the air, Taurus. Either a new job, new school, or maybe some loose pocket change. Of course, if its in the air its more then likely being tossed at your head. In which case, change isn't good. Although, you can always collect your 'winnings' when the projectiles stop coming.





Your feeling the need to broaden your horizons. Take up a cooking or pottery class.  Learn a new sport. Keep in mind, midget tossing is not a sport, and has been banned in most bars these days. Stick to something simple.. like lawn darts.





Today is a day for romance. Some flowers may arrive unexpectedly to your home or office, from a secret admirer.. Think hard who it could be from.. No, not that hot girl you like... think more like... the old creepy guy down the road who always checks the mail in his slightly left open robe.. yeah.. THAT guy...





You're focused and attentive to detail. Which makes you a really shitty boss. Your nit picking and fault finding gets on everybody's nerves. Your underlings are probably plotting revenge of some sort. I would suggest not drinking your coffee..... like, ever.





Dont let other people's bad mood get you down, Virgo. You've got one of your own. The tempers are flaring today, and woe be to any who get in YOUR way... Hurt feelings and shoved elbows are in store for anyone crossing your path. Hmmph... And your usually so nice..





It's time to let go of the past and focus only on the future, Libra. Cause running away from your problems is ALWAYS a good idea. Change your phone number and maybe those debt collectors will have trouble finding you.. for a while.  At least it will give you time to change your identity and move to a new town!





Try adding a few potted plants and decorative items to your home today, Scorpio.. It just might calm that sizzling temper of yours. Remember to focus on the relaxing aura of nature... Not that irritating neighbor who keeps blasting that annoying music day in and day out making you want to jam a machete into the wall so far it lops his head off... Deep breaths.... Calm... ooooohhmm.





The glass may look half empty, but only at first glance. Its actually ALL the way empty. Things are looking bleak for you, Sagittarius. Your car will be towed, Your girlfriend runs off with the plumber, and now your dog is whizzing on your couch... But look at the bright side!..... You still have your health!





There are lots of personal and financial issues to resolve today, Capricorn. Perhaps your business partner ran off with your life savings. Or maybe your wife is deciding to divorce you and take you for every penny. Dont get too upset though... I hear its pretty easy these days to just get a new identity and start over. Ask Libra, maybe you two can be roomies.




Expect a serious windfall coming your way. And by windfall, i mean the wind will blow you off a bridge or mountain path, into the rocks below.  It doesn't end well for you.. Get to low altitudes for the next few days.




You've just recently completed some long-term projects and are being recognized for your efforts. Well, thats only half true. Your being recognized for your efforts in private, but then your boss goes and takes all the credit for your hard work to the big boys upstairs. Do you get the new raise and comfy corner office?? NOOOO.....  Well a job well done is its own satisfaction, right?

4 comments:

  1. LOL -- I don't think I could get mad if I wanted to today, I'm too tired. xD

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  2. ah vid im sure hes harmless :P

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  3. LOL -- I don't think I could get mad if I wanted to today, I'm too tired. xD

    ReplyDelete