so long story short (if possible)
once upon a time there was a girl of about 18. she worked in the mall giving random strangers surveys. one day as she was hanging around outside smoking, she saw a group of guys approach. they were laughing and goofing around and at first didnt seem like anything special.
untill she saw him.
he looked at her and smiled and her heart melted instantly. it was like one of those cheesy romance movies that never happens in real life.
the 2 never spoke to one another but exchanged glances. the boys' bus arrived and they left the mall doorway and headed outside. one boy stopped and offered the girl his number,
'actualy, i think i really like your friend' she said. referring to the boy whos eyes met hers. he laughed, and gave her his friends number.
it didnt take long for both the girl and the guy to realize they were in love., they talked on the phone for weeks but she could not see him; he was in a juvenile center for troubled boys. there was no way they could be together.
one day they decided they were goin to be together no matter what. and hatched a plan to escape.
the girl arranged for a friend to drive to a gas station nearby the school where her love would meet them. and he did.
he escaped through the woods and got into the car and they escaped together.
as long as they were together nothing on earth could harm them. spent every moment together, blissfully entwined in each others arms. they slept in motels or abandoned house,s where they could find. it didnt really matter WHERE they were. they were happy just being together.
one morning they watched the sun come up, and he asked her to marry him. she acpeted. she swore she would spend the rest of her life with him.
they soon found a friend to stay with who would hide them out for a while. they sort of had a home of their own, and good friends there. it seemed like everything was perfect.
but down the road was the boy's jealous ex girlfriend. who apparently decided she didnt like to see the happy couple.. and did something about it.
one morning the girl was awakened to furious pounding on the front door. it was the police. they had found him, and they dragged him from the house while she howled in pain. 'no no dont take him away please!!'
and left her there, alone.
for weeks she couldnt eat or sleep. she became a chain smoker, sitting on the porch all day, lighting smoke after smoke, looking into the distance hoping, hoping he was coming home. but he never did.
she went to his court date and heard the judge sentence him to 1-3 years. she was devastated. 'wait for me' the boy pleaded. 'i love you, and i will come back for you'
and she did wait. and wait. and wait. sitting on the deck, staring into the distance.. hoping he would walk into her life once more. the time wasnt kind to her emotional state. nor his.
her roomate, the once thought friend who had taken them in, poisoned her mind with lies and treachery. she told the girl her love would soon be home! go out and wait for him! she she did, over and over, and he never came. She told her he called! you should wait by the phone he going to call back! but again, the girl was left with crushed hope, and shattered heart. she began to grow cold. she grew tired of being jerked around. so she packed up her shit and left.
unbeknownst to the girl, the boy had actualy been released, and was on his way home to her. but when he arrived, she was not there. she had moved in with an old friend from high school. she sent the boy a letter telling him she had moved... but since he had been released already, he never received this letter.
he went crazy when he returned home and did not find her.
he followed her to her friends house, but just missed her there too. she had already been kicked out.
she moved in with another friend. she managed to receive a letter from her love. an angry letter. the girl mistakes the letter for a break up letter, and goes insane. she trashes the apartment, breaks everything and rolls up in a screaming ball on the floor sobbing. the cops are called, and she is carried away.
the boy just misses her there too. hes hot on her trail all this time, but the cops are on HIS. hes soon apprehended, and sent back for another 6 years.
a this time the girl knew nothing about him being home, or tracking her down. she knew NOTHING. she blundered around blind in her own stupidity while her one tru love tried his best to find her. and ended up going back to prison for even longer BECAUSE OF HER.
for years and years she dreamt of this love she lost. no other man came close to he did in her heart, and no man ever will.
she eventually settled down, had a family, moved on. but he was always there, in her soul. always in the back of her mind. always wondering what happened to him? where did he go? will i ever see him again?
20 years later he finds her on facebook.....
untill she saw him.
he looked at her and smiled and her heart melted instantly. it was like one of those cheesy romance movies that never happens in real life.
the 2 never spoke to one another but exchanged glances. the boys' bus arrived and they left the mall doorway and headed outside. one boy stopped and offered the girl his number,
'actualy, i think i really like your friend' she said. referring to the boy whos eyes met hers. he laughed, and gave her his friends number.
it didnt take long for both the girl and the guy to realize they were in love., they talked on the phone for weeks but she could not see him; he was in a juvenile center for troubled boys. there was no way they could be together.
one day they decided they were goin to be together no matter what. and hatched a plan to escape.
the girl arranged for a friend to drive to a gas station nearby the school where her love would meet them. and he did.
he escaped through the woods and got into the car and they escaped together.
as long as they were together nothing on earth could harm them. spent every moment together, blissfully entwined in each others arms. they slept in motels or abandoned house,s where they could find. it didnt really matter WHERE they were. they were happy just being together.
one morning they watched the sun come up, and he asked her to marry him. she acpeted. she swore she would spend the rest of her life with him.
they soon found a friend to stay with who would hide them out for a while. they sort of had a home of their own, and good friends there. it seemed like everything was perfect.
but down the road was the boy's jealous ex girlfriend. who apparently decided she didnt like to see the happy couple.. and did something about it.
one morning the girl was awakened to furious pounding on the front door. it was the police. they had found him, and they dragged him from the house while she howled in pain. 'no no dont take him away please!!'
and left her there, alone.
for weeks she couldnt eat or sleep. she became a chain smoker, sitting on the porch all day, lighting smoke after smoke, looking into the distance hoping, hoping he was coming home. but he never did.
she went to his court date and heard the judge sentence him to 1-3 years. she was devastated. 'wait for me' the boy pleaded. 'i love you, and i will come back for you'
and she did wait. and wait. and wait. sitting on the deck, staring into the distance.. hoping he would walk into her life once more. the time wasnt kind to her emotional state. nor his.
her roomate, the once thought friend who had taken them in, poisoned her mind with lies and treachery. she told the girl her love would soon be home! go out and wait for him! she she did, over and over, and he never came. She told her he called! you should wait by the phone he going to call back! but again, the girl was left with crushed hope, and shattered heart. she began to grow cold. she grew tired of being jerked around. so she packed up her shit and left.
unbeknownst to the girl, the boy had actualy been released, and was on his way home to her. but when he arrived, she was not there. she had moved in with an old friend from high school. she sent the boy a letter telling him she had moved... but since he had been released already, he never received this letter.
he went crazy when he returned home and did not find her.
he followed her to her friends house, but just missed her there too. she had already been kicked out.
she moved in with another friend. she managed to receive a letter from her love. an angry letter. the girl mistakes the letter for a break up letter, and goes insane. she trashes the apartment, breaks everything and rolls up in a screaming ball on the floor sobbing. the cops are called, and she is carried away.
the boy just misses her there too. hes hot on her trail all this time, but the cops are on HIS. hes soon apprehended, and sent back for another 6 years.
a this time the girl knew nothing about him being home, or tracking her down. she knew NOTHING. she blundered around blind in her own stupidity while her one tru love tried his best to find her. and ended up going back to prison for even longer BECAUSE OF HER.
for years and years she dreamt of this love she lost. no other man came close to he did in her heart, and no man ever will.
she eventually settled down, had a family, moved on. but he was always there, in her soul. always in the back of her mind. always wondering what happened to him? where did he go? will i ever see him again?
20 years later he finds her on facebook.....
Wow that was sad. :( Well the girl in this story can't dwell on what could of been and she can't beat herself up for it, because she didn't know. She was young and she just didn't know. It's happens. Also who knows if things would worked out. To be honest, if it was meant to be it, it would of never ended up like this. So let the past be the past. Life is too short to dwell on "what could of been" or fantasties of a past love. The person (I think I know who) has the joy of being a mom and people who love her. That's all that matters. All they can do is look forward and see where life will takes them now. THat's all you can do.
ReplyDeleteOh my....
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't beat yourself up about that. Crap like this happens, and unfortunately, by the time you realize what happened, it's too late to fix it. All you can really do is resolve yourself with the past and move on. Hopefully the other person will understand and accept that you never intentionally tried or meant to hurt anyone, and whatever healthy relationship the two of you can have (whether nonexistent, platonic, or more) you can have when you both accept your pasts and move on from them. You cannot forget, but you can forgive, learn, and adapt.
That is a sad story and I know it would be hard to stop thinking "what if". Trouble is we can never know how things would have turned out. It's easy to imagine things turning out all rosy but there's no guarantee they would have done. I think most of us can look back and see things they would have done differently with hindsight. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time.
ReplyDelete"She knew nothing."
ReplyDeleteShe did the best she could with the (very little to no) information she had available at that moment. It wasn't her fault that she was lied to, or that letters didn't reach their intended recipients, or that he was released early, or that she didn't know about it, or even that he was apprehended again.
Not. Her. Fault.
There are several characters in this story, all of whom carry their share of responsibility. It's not all hers to carry all by herself.
It seems to me that when she got sick of being "jerked around", her decision to get herself out of there was a wise decision on her part. It wasn't her responsibility to wait for everyone else to get their shit together before she was allowed to try to be happy or get herself to a place where she could get half a chance to grow.
It still isn't.
Regret sucks, and it's hard to let go. But be careful of hindsight: it only has 20/20 vision some of the time. Other times, it can magnify things way out of proportion to the harsher realities that they actually might have been.
Be kind to you. xGalateaCc
thank you all for listening to my tale of woe. i really needed to get that out. i know the past is the past and nothign can change it, but one cant help but wonder 'what if' 'how would my life be different'.
ReplyDeletei hope the boy can forgive her, and i think maybe he does. but it will take a long time to heal, for both of them i think
I read your last couple of posts and see you have been troubled as late. Very sorry to hear that Zeri *hugs*
ReplyDeleteFor the story, she shouldn't dwell on the past and all the "what ifs". Yes it is very hard to do, easier said than done. But "what ifs" can make a person sick and lose sight of reality because they are always stuck in the past and the many different parallel world of "what could have been". It isn't healthy by any means. She did the best she could. She was only young after all. Everything seems so much more attainable when you are younger, but you are also more vulnerable to others.
As we grow, we can see the mistakes that our past selves have made. Then there are two choices: dwell or move on. And, either choice that is made, it's ok. And yes, while the more logical choice is to move on, not everyone can. Some need help to build their resolve. Some too scared to move. This is one reason why humans need to cling to others. They need that support system to lift them up when they are down, or to guide them back when they lose their way.
It's okay to make mistakes. There is no such thing as perfection within humans. Perhaps there could have been a happily ever after, but there is also the chance that it would not have turned out that way. It's ok to not have all the answers.
Perhaps the only way for the woman to have any peace from this is to absolve the girl inside her who is still alone in the dark for how her life has turned out. Because no matter how a meeting goes between the man and her, they have both changed and are not the same people they once were.