Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Your Weekly Horror-Scope



Your a dreamer at heart, Aries which means you tend to forget about the material world.  Which explains why you often forget your keys, or the fact that you left something in the oven.  After leaving the water on in the bathtub all night, You would think you would learn.. Try to focus more. The cops really wont tolerate you leaving your toddler on top of the car again.






Today, you put your head down and just charge into action.   It doesnt really matter if a train is coming, you just keep on running, dont you, Taurus.  Do your best not to get distracted, and charge headlong into a bus. Tends to be messy. Your lucky color is Matador red




You can finally breathe a sigh of relief, Gemini. You've been really worried about finances lately, but your worries are finally over. Your completely broke! Debtors will be coming to your house soon, to repossess your stuff. Isnt that wonderful? No longer will you need to stress and worry about car payments and credit cards bills. You have no worries at all! Isnt it marvelous?




Today its time to look at your relationships, and decide who is a real friend, and who isnt.  Your friend lists are full of backstabbers, fair weather friends, and crazies. Its detrimental to your emotional health, to accociate with the likes of them.. Unless of course, you LIKE hanging around with crazy people. In that case, weed out the normals and go party in gorilla suits





Your feeling adventurous today, Leo, and want to  take on a hoard of bloodthirsty zombies.  Nothing can quite compare to swinging that baseball bat hard enough to knock a zombies head clear across the room. Now that takes talent. remember tho, zombie smashing is only a game. Trying out your machete techniques on the neighbors hedges, might get you in some trouble.






Your filled with questions today, Virgo. Some important, some trivial.  'Where am i going in life? what should i wear today? Why is that guy lurking outside my window with a machette??'
Before you panic, check to make sure there isnt a leo who lives nearby. 




You feel you are a special and unique person, Libra.  But its hard for you to express yourself properly. No one seems to appreciate When you come to work dressed in nothing but shaving cream and a bathing suit. Come on, its a fashion statement! You are just too much fun for most people to handle.





Your ego may be bruised by events from a few days back. Has it occurred to you that it's within your power to right the wrong you feel was done to you? Thats right.. we mean cold, hard revenge. You know you have been dreaming about it. Scorpios live for this moment.. why not indulge yourself?




You must admit that you've been rather selfish lately. You aren't the center of the universe, so why do you sometimes act like you are? Because you KNOW you are!  If other people cant handle your always being right, they should just get off your planet. Isnt it obvious how superior you are?





Take a night out with your significant other today, Capricorn, and mend those fences. Perhaps your lover will change their mind about smothering you in your sleep. Or, continue sitting around in your underwear drinking beer while you watch the game.. just be sure to hide the ice pick.




Shame on you, Aquarius. You think no one saw what you were doing, but you were wrong. There are pictures going around on the internet right now.




You feel as if the world is after you today, Pisces, and you may be right. Try not to step on any toes as you make your way throughout the day. There just might be an angry Scorpio looking for you. But have no fear. Wear some cammo shorts and hide in the bushes until he passes. How long can he possibly stay mad?

2 comments:

  1. I think this is just cool! ^^ Your stuffis so interesting. I like you page a lot :)

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  2. LOL. I'm cancer..so I guess I'll go party in a gorilla suit xD

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