Thursday, October 7, 2010

still in shock i guess

i got news tonight that my father has cancer. a massive tumor in his lung, and cancerous stuff has spread all around his body. They caught it early, but its extremely aggressive, and spreading fast.
i can only hope that the chemo and radiation will help stop it. if it doesnt..  i dont think he has much time.
i havent seen him in so long. we keep saying, 'we need to get down to florida and see everybody' but it just never happens.  cant get together that kinda money, cant find transportation, cant find the time off work/school... always something.
now it may to be too late to ever see him again. my 2 youngest children dont even know him, and my oldest barely remembers when we used to visit..
my brother died last year this month.... soon i wont have any family left..

10 comments:

  1. OMG Zeri I'm so sorry. *hugs* I will keep you in my prayers. :(

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  2. Aw Zeri, this is terrible to hear =( I really hope he makes it out ok you can always come talk with me on facebook or something if you need to =(

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  3. Zeri I'm sorry to hear all of this :( I hope your father is able to pull through and that a miracle comes your familys way so you all can see him again! You know I'm always hear if you need someone to talk to!

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  4. Oh Zeri. *hugs* I'm going to echo the others, I really hope that he can pull through this. I'm also sorry to hear about your brother. I agree with Yazzie, I hope you can see him again!

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  5. Oh Zeri, I'm so sorry to hear that. We don't know what the future holds, so all you can do is hope & pray for the very best outcome and do all that you can to arrange to see him. You can still keep in touch with him and your other family, even if you can't be there in person right away, and I'm sure they'll appreciate you for it.

    If you can fanagle SOME way to get down there -- discount tickets, arranging time off work, a little help other loved ones -- then I'm sure your father will appreciate it, and it might ease your mind just a small bit to actually be there with him in person. Sometimes it's just not feasible no matter HOW hard you try -- you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip - you can only do as much as you can do. If that's the case and you can't get down there anytime soon, please try not to be down on yourself. For all you know your father will make a recovery and will have many years left. In the meantime, you can still keep in touch and let him know that you're there, even in spirit. That sort of thing truly does make a difference. I'm sure he understands.

    You all will be in my thoughts and prayers Zeri, and of course if you ever need an ear or a shoulder, you've got my email address. I know how it is....

    Take care, okay?
    *hugs*

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  6. thank you so much everyone. im terrible at dealing with this sorta thing. i never know what to say, what to do, what to think. i keep meaning to get a webcam, so my kids can have 'visits' with him. maybe i should do that. altho he might not want the kids to see him that way. my grandmother wouldnt let me come see her when she was dying of cancer... she didnt want me to remember her that way.

    i guess i can only be there for him best i can.. but its all so backwards.. i dont know how to be there for a parent..

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  7. If you guys know that the time will come I'd be spending every second I could with them, I remember people by their personality etc you know? =\ Not by what they looked like, even though it could be a sad sight. I would hate for a family member to pass away and me not be there with there last moments

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  8. Zeri... I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Only you can decide the right thing to do about your kids seeing him. You know your kids better than anyone else does. Everyone deals with grief differently, and I hope you find what works best for you. You have my thoughts and good wishes.

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  9. Zeri... I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Only you can decide the right thing to do about your kids seeing him. You know your kids better than anyone else does. Everyone deals with grief differently, and I hope you find what works best for you. You have my thoughts and good wishes.

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  10. Oh Zeri. *hugs* I'm going to echo the others, I really hope that he can pull through this. I'm also sorry to hear about your brother. I agree with Yazzie, I hope you can see him again!

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