thank you to everyone for your support and well wishes during this time. it has helped and i am very grateful. im trying to put it behind me now and look forward. my new kittens helps alot. who can be sad when you have a cute roly poly kitten to play with?
ive dealt with my issues with my dad long ago. as i mentioned i had a rough childhood. me brother and i were neglected, beaten, mostly by our first stepmother, but there was always the whippings with the belt when dad came home. thats how i grew up. when i was 12 he sent me away to 'crazy camp'. basicaly, a mental home for adolescents because i was depressed and suicidal. after 8 months in that place, he and my stepmother sorta dissapeared.. apparently they didnt want me anymore, so i went to live with my mother. i was so angry and resentful toward my father for many years after that. we never spoke again. i did not invite him to my wedding, but i made sure he knew about it.
when my first child was born tho, he suddenly reappeared. his only grandchild changed him somehow i guess. we reconciled and the past was forgotten. but in truth, the past was merely buried. it would be many more years before i finaly came to terms with the anger i harbored inside. and it will ALWAYS be there, but at least ive learned how to deal with it.
my dad and i had a pretty good relationship these last few years. probably better than we ever had when i was a kid. im alot like him, and i guess he could see that in me. we got along as adults because we share alot of the same interests and personality traits. and even tho my childhood was pretty horrible, i did always love my dad. and we had lots of good times, fun holidays, and good memories. and i will never forget him as long as i live