social anxiety is stupid

so i was cruising around craisglist and saw an ad for a video game tester. 'send resume, bla blah' it said. i wanted to respond but was too nervous to do so, so i closed the window.

2 days later i came back and looked at the ad again, tempted to reply. after all, gaming is what i do! it might be the only damn thing i am good at. but this is a serious step. they want a resume, i cant write a resume! i know nothing about any of that stuff! i close the window and go back to whatever.

next day i come back again. maybe i should risk it. i mean, what if its a legit opportunity and im missing it? what if they give it to someone else? your wasting time, man! i hover over the ad for a good half hour debating on whether or not to reply. i leave the site again.

4th day i come back. i have what im going to say all planned out. i click on the ad ready finally to respond. i hesitate... for like 15 minutes. ok im doing this!
i open up my email and start typing. no idea how to do a resume so im just listing my experience. proofread it a few times, make some changes and got something ready to go..

just sit there, hovering over the button..should i send it? do i REALLY want to do this? do i really want t put myself out there like this? what if they ask more of me than i am capable of? what if they need me to travel? what if they want me to .. talk to people?

*deep breath*...


panic attack.

did i really do that? omg!




.. avoid checking my email for 24 hours...


finally peek. there is a reply! oh no. why did they reply? they were supposed to just ignore it! now I have to reply!

the email hives me a link to a website.. i go to the site and red flags pop up all over my brain.
google the site name.

its a scam.

its a SCAM. 4 days of anxiety and its a fucking SCAM.

thank goodness.


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