well isnt that just fucking dandy

i havent posted much about my personal life  lately.  so ill need to provide some backstory.
about a year ago i got a call from my uncle saying some collections agency was trying to get a hold of me. i have very little contact with what little family i have left so just getting a call from one of them was a surprise. apparently they were looking for the children of my father, and found him (my father's brother) most likely because i had married and changed my name.

so he gave the lady my number and she calls like the next day. it seems that my father (who passed a few years back) had some sort of insurance policy that was unclaimed, and they were looking for my brother (who also passed) because he was on the policy. (not me, him, so THATS a nice fuck you from dad)

i explained that i am the only remaining child and he had a wife at the time of his death. long story short, it was a sum of about 60 grand, that both surviving family members would inherit.  all i had to do was provide the necessary information, and wait for the agency to get everything thru court and probate and whatever the fuck else, i dont understand the process. they would get a cut of about 5k for their work. didnt seem too bad to me, since they DID do all the work and i didnt even know about this money

so on halloween of last year i get a check for 24 thousand dollars. which was wonderful as i needed a shit ton of things that i havent been able to afford in forever! but it was also a shitstorm since i am living off SSI.

my ssi got suspended, and medicaid and all that shit since i just got a big check. (not big enough to live on) but decently big.
we were informed that i had like 2 months to get my finances back under 2000 or i would lose my ssi permanently.

so we went abotu spending it more or less as fast as we could. buying the things we needed for the house and some other fun goodies. wasnt enough to actually BUY a house, or i would have. i fucking hate this place. anyway


so by late december we get it down to around 2k and we get the ssi turned back on, so my kids can have medicaid and i can pay rent and all that fun shit. they turn it on no problem, but i get a letter a few weeks later saying my case is being evaluated. (which hasnt happened before)

so i fill out all the paper work, go to all the appointments, jump thru all their goddam hoops. they bring me in to see some 'specialist' who talks to me for maybe 5 minutes to determine if im still mentally ill. get a quick physical and they send me on my way.

got a letter yesterday saying im being kicked off because im 'better and can work'

HOW THE FUCK AM I BETTER? im STILL just as fucked up as i was when i got on ssi in the first place, if anything im worse. i dont drive, i cant make phone calls, my  math and social skills are deplorable, and i barely ever leave my house. what the hell kind of job can i get with THAT??

so thats one last 'fuck you' from ol dad i guess. hey have some extra money and feel rich for a month, aaand now youre homeless.

how the fuck am i going to pay my rent now? my electric bill? i cant get a godaam job, im a fucking disaster.
and ive looked. there are virtually NO jobs for crazy shut in bitches with no car or people skills. not without a high school diploma anyway! i could get a ton of stay at home jobs if i had a bachelors degree. and if they would just have TOLD me that they would be cutting me off forever, i would have sat on that money and lived off it while exploring other options. too fucking late for that

well fuck you.

im so done with this fucking planet.